Differences between women and men

In my last post you could read my thoughts about "The problem with the obsession with beauty".
Now I want to write about another interesting topic the “Differences between women and men”.

All of you know that women and men are looking different and why this is necessary. That's why I won't write about the distinction between the female and male body. But women and men are also different in their inside. (I don't mean the organs here. :-))

I want to start with one interesting example, which I saw in a German documentary movie a few month ago.
You probably know that girls usually play with dolls and boys usually play with toy cars. But why is this so?
You probably will answer ”It's the fault of the society.”. Yes you're right. The society tells the parents that girls should play with dolls and boys with toy cars, because this is normal and everybody is doing so. And the parents think “Why changing it? The society certainly know what's the best.” And this was so for many many years.

Nowadays in times of equal rights of men and women parents often offers their children both dolls and toy cars so that the children are able to choose themselves. But even today girls usually choose dolls and boys toy cars. Why?
This time you again could argue with the society, for example that the society needs more time to change, ….

But is the society the real reason for this?
Several scientists wanted to know if this is so. Are girls only preferring dolls because the society and their parents told them this?
But how could you test this? There are no children who grew up without the influence of the society. Even children from native tribes don't grew up without such an influence.
Then the scientists had an idea. They could test it with apes. Apes are very similar to humans and they aren't influenced by the human society. That's why they took several female and male apes and put them together into one big cage. Then they put some dolls and toy cars on the floor and left the cage.

What do you think happened?

The female apes preferred playing with the dolls and the male apes preferred playing with toy cars, although apes don't know what a doll or a toy car is. Now it's very difficult to argue with the society. :-)

Unfortunately the scientists don't know till now why it is so. An obvious reason why female apes and girls prefer playing with dolls is that they will get children and usually they are responsible for raising them. But why are male apes and boys preferring toy cars? This is really a good question. They scientists think that they are interested in moving things through the space. In the past men were hunting while women stay in the cave and look after the children. For hunting you need the ability to see moving animals and so on. This would be perhaps one answer for this but till now you don't know it exactly.

Another interesting example for the differences between women and men is the way of thinking. Scientist watched several brains from men and women solving problems. And they discover something very astonishing. If men are solving a problem they use the left or right part of the brain depending on what kind of problem they are solving. All their thoughts are only moving in one of the hemispheres. This of course is an advantage to solve a problem very fast. The signals only have to travel short ways in your brain. But the brains of women work different. They are always using both sides of their brains. They think more complex and involve more aspects while solving a problem. This way they are able to find better solutions but they need more time to find them. Unfortunately schools, most jobs and also most intelligence tests only focus on the speed of solving a problem. If the solution works, everything is OK even if there would be a better one. This is completely mad.

Please don't misinterpret me. I didn't write this blog post to tell that men are better than women or the other way around. But there are differences between both sexes and it is very interesting and necessary to explore them. For example most of the medicines are developed by men for men because most doctors thought that the male and female body are working mainly the same. But this isn't so. If a man and a woman takes the same medicine it could operate completely different. Even the symptoms from a disease could be completely different between men and women. One example is the heart attack. Men have clear and well known symptoms like a violent pain in the chest. But women don't have such clear symptoms. That's why many women and even doctors don't realize that a woman had a heart attack.

Now you perhaps see why it is important to explore the differences between women and men.

But even many differences between men and women are already and will be discovered, it's a silly and wrong point of view to think that men are better than women or the other way around. Even today in times of equal rights of men and women there are unfortunately many people who are thinking that their own sex is better than the other one. There are still much more men working in responsible and well-paid jobs, studying science, and so on. As I already wrote before the society and the companies are still focusing on the speed of solving a problem instead on the quality.

Stop thinking that one sex is better than the other one. God (or the nature) created two different humans, men and women. They belong together and not only because of biology. In my mind women and men are the perfect match. The differences between the sexes aren't a disadvantage or a reason to discriminate each other. They are very important advantages! No one is able to solve all problems alone. For living a happy and successful life, you need the ability from men and women. Women and men complement each other on the best possible way. There is no better match. That's why I think that all responsible jobs in politics, companies and also in religions should be done by a couple, a man and a woman who work together. Only this way you are able to solve all problems on the best way.

Always remember: Women and men belong together! There is no need do discriminate each other!

I was inspired by Lindsey Stirling to write this blog post. She is talking regularly in front of pupils to help them finding their way in life. She is mainly focusing on girls and young women because they are still discriminated in our society.

Written by Andreas S. Janke

Lindsey Stirling talking to a school class.

Lindsey Stirling performing for a school class.

The problem with the obsession with beauty

In my last blog posts I only focused on the human soul. Of course the soul is most important but you also shouldn’t forget the body. That's why I decided to focus on the human body this time.

There are more than 7 billion humans living around the world in 2016. 7 billion individuals. And most of them are looking different from each other (except twins and so on).

But since several years there is spreading an odd problem, or you perhaps also could call it a disease, around the world. Especially young woman who are living in the industrial countries are infected by it. But in the last years it also reached other countries, older woman and also men!

I call it “The Obsession with Beauty”!

This disease is very dangerous because the infected persons usually don't notice the infection. But in the case you don't notice it and don't fight against it, the disease will destroy your life, your body and even your soul!

Most of you probably already knew the problem with the obsession with beauty. But do you really know this disease? How could normal healthy young women be infected by it so badly? Why are the infected persons acting so strange?

The main aspect of this disease is that all the infected persons want to look different as they are looking like. There are a few role models all over the world and everybody wants to look like them. But why? Did they forget that there are more than 7 billion different looking individuals all over the world? Nearly everybody looks different from each other and this is good so.

Please imagine a world where everybody would be able to look the way he/she wants. Everybody would look perfectly. The problem is that then each woman would look like the other one and the same with the men. What a world would this be where so many identical humans are living? A very boring one! The small differences, the deviations from the perfect look makes the world interesting because then you have many individuals.

The wish to look like another person is natural. But it becomes a big problem if the role models aren't real. Today the role models are only created by the media and the companies. And if someone wants to look like one of these unrealistic role models, she/he never will reach her/his goal and that's why she/he will be always disappointed, sad and so on. But if you feel this way for a lengthy period of time you will become really sick.

The media and the companies didn't create the basic problem: The wish to look different or to look like another person. But they realized that there is such a problem and they wanted to make money with it. That's why they created unrealistic role models. If no one is able to reach the goal, you will keep trying to reach it and you always will buy the products from the companies. The fact that they are destroying lives, isn't important for them. In the last few years some companies realized what they caused and they are trying to use realistic role models now. But till now only very few companies decided to change their way and it will be a long way till the infected persons are healed.

But enough about the media and the companies. What's with the basic problem “The wish to look different or to look like another person”? If you find a way to handle this basic problem, the other one is also fixed.

Why does someone wants to look like another person?
The wish to be someone else is natural. Everybody already thought about being a superhero, a famous person or whatever. And even if you customize and play this role temporarily this is no problem. You know who you are and you only want to have fun or try something new. This is ok. But if you really want to look different as you are looking like, you have a problem. A big problem.

When you were born you don't want to look different. You accepts your body the way it looks like. You love yourself, you love your parents and they love you. Everything is great and you are happy. But then you become older and you are focusing on other persons like friends, mates and so on. These people don't love you only because you are there like your parents do it. But everybody needs love to survive. That's why you have a problem now. You want to become loved by your friends. That's why you have to find a way to reach this goal. There are many possible ways you could try.

Of course there is only one way which really works. First you have to focus on yourself. You have to find out who you are and create an individual personality which could be loved. But this is very hard work and lasts long. Unfortunately most humans are lazy and often very stupid. That's why they usually try other ways first because these ways seem to be easier and faster. But they don't work.

When for example a girl meets a boy and they are interested in each other he usually will tell her that she is looking great. Because the boy doesn't know the girl till now he isn't able to tell something about her character. How I explained above, the girl wants to be loved by the boy. But what could she do now? Of course she could show him what a great character she is and so on. But to show him her personality she had to create one first. And this is hard work. That's why the girl usually will choose the simple way. The boy already told her that she is looking great that's why she will automatically begin to focus on her beauty. She will use make-up, dress nice and so on to get more compliments from the boy. And this is the begin of the problem with the obsession with beauty.

I choose a girl for this example because mainly young women are affected by this problem. But of course you also could exchange the girl through a boy.

Usually you began to focus on your beauty as a teen but nowadays you are confronted with this problem already as a young child because of the media. That's why it's so important that the parents always watch TV together with their children. They can explain and help them to focus on their personality instead of their beauty. But unfortunately many parents don't do this. They use the TV as a simple and cheap possibility to get some “children free” time. That's wrong! That's why also the parents are responsible for the obsession with beauty.

But if you focus on your beauty instead of your personality, you will get big problems. If we continue the example with the girl: What will happen now? The girl focus on her beauty and she will get more compliments from the boy. Because of this she feels something like being loved. But if someone only loves your body, is this real love? I don't think so.

But what will happen after some years? The boy already knows her beauty and he will become bored of it. Or the beauty disappears one day because of the age or an accident? What could the boy love now? Because the girl didn't create an own personality there is nothing left the boy could love. The boy will stop loving her and he will leave her. She will become disappointed and so on.

Usually she will continue focusing on her beauty till this disease destroys her body, her live and her soul. Only if she creates a personality there is something another person is able to love always. The personality will be there forever. The beauty will disappear.

The only way to be loved by another one consists of these four steps:
- Accept your body the way it looks like
- Create your own personality
- Love yourself (body and soul)
- Give love

Only if you love yourself you are able to give love. And only if you give love you are able to feel the real love from others.

But how could you accept your body it looks like when there are so many people in the media or around you which looks better than you?

Are you really sure that these people are looking better than you? Why do you think this?

God (or if you want you also could say nature instead of God) gifted each human an own soul and a body. When you are born your body is already finished. It's perfect the way it's created. But your soul isn't finished. Your job is to form your soul and to take care of your body.

Each body is an individual masterpiece which is different from all the other ones. There is no part from a body you or anyone else could upgrade. But the problem is that everybody always only focus on details for example the hips, the backside, the stomach and so on. They always think that for example the hips from their friends are smaller than their own ones. Maybe this is true. But what's the problem? Everybody looks different. There are persons who have bigger and who have smaller hips than you. You always will find someone who has smaller hips, a straighter nose or whatever. Don't focus on the details! See the whole picture, your whole body! Even if there are persons with other hips, noses and so on, your body as a whole is a masterpiece. Your body was created the way it looks like. All the parts of your body belong together and fit to the rest. And this is good so.

Always remember:
Your body is a masterpiece created by God. Love it and don't try to change it.

I was inspired by Lindsey Stirling to write this blog post. She had problems with the Obsession with Beauty but she mastered it.

This photo shows Lindsey Stirling.

Written by Andreas S. Janke

Photos from "Worldwide Candle Lighting for Gavi"

Sunday December 13th 2015 was the "Worldwide Candle Lighting". It's the worldwide commemoration day for deceased children. At this day every family who commemorate a deceased child lights a candle and put it in a window at 7 pm. This causes a wave of candlelight which goes around the world.
Here you can read more about this amazing tradition:
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/News_Events/Special-Events/Worldwide_Candle_Lighting.aspx

Many Stirlingites took part in this event and lighted a candle for Gavi. Here you can see some of the taken photos:

This photo was taken by Janine Bräuninger. She's the winner of my competition.

This photo was taken by Céline Helmreich..

This photo was taken by Maureen van Dam.

This photo was taken by Almin Felker

This photo was taken by Pavla Ngoová

This photo was taken by Lien Timmerman

This photo was taken by Marine Krebs

This photo was taken by Rüdiger Knabe

This photo was taken by Valerie Bondar

And at the end my own photos:

These photos were taken by Andreas Janke

If you want to see more photos taken by Stirlingites for Gavi, klick this LINK

Written by Andreas S. Janke